@ThePoke: UPDATE: Twitter Reacts To The Scottish Independence Referendum
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@djdarrellripley: Me: !!Ugh!! YOUR DAMN DOG IS STARING AT ME AGAIN! Him: Just ignore him. Me: I'm trying! Him: I was talking to the dog...
@Be___Dope: Her: You like shopping? Me: Oh god yes! Her: What's your favorite place? Me: The grocery store. There is a whole aisle of just cheese!
@tourettzgoth: Keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on your bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette