@ThePoke: UPDATE: Twitter Reacts To The Scottish Independence Referendum
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@Beesthegame: [Pulled over] Sir do you know how fast you were going? MY DOG IS IN LABOR! Oh! In that case *scribbles* Here is a ticket for littering.
@AnkCoupleTO: Her: Welcome to McDonalds sir, may I take your order? Me: *hands her a shovel with mouth agape* ALL. THE. FRIES.
@Jesssicle: Fun thing to do: Before leaving someone's house, ask them if you can take a roll of toilet paper "to go"