@knot_eye: Upon graduation from the University of Phoenix, do they just send you a screencap of your degree?
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@canadasandra: What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
@trevso_electric: Now marriage can be between any two people who are misguided enough to start a life together in New Jersey.
@AndySandford: Other people are gettin these amber alerts, right? Like, it's not up to me to find these kids?
@samalmightysam: ''Hey, you like water? yes? well I can turn it into wine.'' -Jesus flirting in a bar