@badbanana: URGENT! IF MY BOSS ASKS YOU IF IT'S REALLY "NATIONAL THROW YOUR COFFEE AT YOUR BOSS DAY" PLEASE SAY YES.
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@rohoxbaby: Every Facebook post: *Girl posts lyrics* Elderly woman comments "Hi lucy. you're so grown up. We miss you. Tell your mom ill call Wednesday"
@shariv67: Boy, your name must be Adobe cuz when you call me up for a date, I say "Ask me again later."
@OneFunnyMummy: The fastest way to get your kids to shut up is to ask them a question you want answered.