@ShipInTheKnight: No need to drive me crazy. I can walk from here.

@Kyle_Lippert: If you put your face really close to a neck tattoo & slowly pull away, you can see a hidden design of the unemployment office.

@weismanjake: Hangman is a weird game to let kids play. Hey kid, if you don't think of this word, a random man will be put to death.

@Thedudish: If God had a sense of humor, he would have asked Noah to bring a pair of termites on board.

@amydillon: To make my guests comfortable, I always put a sign in the bathroom that says "Don't worry, I cleaned, those are permanent stains."