@causticbob: USA lose graciously to Belgium in the World Cup. Obama says no hard feelings & any drones heading towards Belgium are nothing to worry about
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@TheQuietPsycho: CW: if you repeatedly see a cardinal, it's the spirit of a loved one. I think that's my mom Me: that's nice. Your mom just shit on that guy
@ryanqnorth: Technically, everyone owns at least one skeleton, and they all sleep with it in their bed
@backporchlady: My black pants had more cat hair on them after they came out of the dryer. Guess I should check the dryer for cats before I start it.
@GrowlyGrego: FIRED? But I just started! How could I have known we don't do casual Fridays here? Fine. Direct your own goddamn funeral. *flip-flops away*