@SocialMediaLia: Use a tortilla as a lap napkin so you can still eat all the food you spill
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@GianDoh: All toilet seats can be heated toilet seats if you push people off them and sit real fast.
@PinkCamoTO: 5: I want to do something no one else has ever done. Me: Help me clean? 5: No. Something fun.
@_Shizzle: They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
@JElvisWeinstein: "And if all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you make up a story about jumping off a bridge too?"-- Teen Brian Williams' mother