@Shot_Of_Cabo: "Use the forceps, Luke!" - Obi Gyn Kenobi
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@CrazyExhaustion: 5yo: What's a cannibal? Me: A person that eats another person. 5yo's eyes widen in horror. Me: You said cannonball, didn't ya?
@sofarrsogud: MOM: Any plans tonight? ME: Me and the guys heading out to find us some ladees *shoots finger guns HER: So Pokemon Go with Gary? M: Yessss
@KKAlThani: Here's what I know about girls. If she's angry, it will pass. If she goes silent, leave the country, change your name & start a new life.
@Jade_VK: I only carry cash anymore in case I need to make a dramatic exit in the middle of coffee with a detective