@bornmiserable: Used shampoo instead of shower gel and now my body has up to 70% more body.
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@mrtimlong: It's called a "Monte Cristo" sandwich because one day it will return disguised as another sandwich & seek its revenge
@EliTerry: Imagine a bunch of Italian mobsters tiptoeing and trying not to giggle as they gingerly place a horse head in bed with a sleeping guy.
@MeatloafComedy: My pants embarrassed me in front of a chick again. How many times must I tell them that it's rude to point???