@bornmiserable: Used shampoo instead of shower gel and now my body has up to 70% more body.
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@joeljeffrey: I took my cat to Build-A-Bear so he could see what's going to happen to him if he pees on the carpet again.
@TheRolo: [Rumpelstiltskin comes to take first born son] "Give me what you promised unless you can guess my name" Here "Aren't you going to guess?"
@Brianhopecomedy: Saw a phone booth. Hopped in. Came out. Didn't become Superman. Now it just looks like I was hiding while that lady was getting mugged.