@WilliamAder: Used way too much moisturizer and I may have to call in slick tomorrow.
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@Kennedydp5: The lady walking ahead of me sped up so I did, she began running so I did, she screamed so I did. I never even saw what we were running from
@TheDairylandDon: No rule against wearing an old Halloween costume to Thanksgiving. Let your racist uncle talk presidential politics with Donkey from Shrek.
@notbedelia: When your wife says she needs a new broom it's best not to ask if she broke the last one in a crash landing.