@Wtftab: Useful information: don't turn around if a woman throws a shoe at your back. Because more than likely the other one is in mid flight.
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@ItsAndyRyan: Satan's greatest trick is convincing you he's not real but there's a quality drop-off after that. No. 2 is pretending his thumb is your nose
@hythemafia: Scanned a customer in the eyes with a barcode reader for being rude to me.... ...should have seen the look on his face, it was priceless
@KalvinMacleod: ME: how can I make u proud? MOM: reach for the stars NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: the closest star is 93 million miles away. You’ll never get there.
@julietactually: him: [slipping my panties off] why are u wearing 2 pairs of panties me: I'm not him: [sliding another pair off] omg how many are u wearing