Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of 1BigMick's best tweets

@1BigMick : If you believe the home alarm commercials, the first thing burglars do when they break into your home is smash your family pictures.

@1BigMick: I don't appreciate my son's teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.

@1BigMick: Hey guy that puts the stickers on tomatoes, nobody likes you.

@1BigMick: My wife keeps 72 half-empty bottles of stuff in the shower. And if I even look at them, they all throw themselves on the floor.

@1BigMick: When I drop my son off at school I do one arm pushups at the entrance to let the other dads know that's what's up. But they're all at work.