Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of 1CleverGirl1's best tweets

@1CleverGirl1 : *puts on pickle costume* *gets stuck in pickle costume* *calls friend* Could you please help me? I've gotten my myself into a pickle.

@1CleverGirl1: If Disney movies have taught me anything, it's that the whole ENTIRE world speaks English. Including animals and inanimate objects.

@1CleverGirl1: If you care about someone,
even a little bit.
I beg of you.
Please.
TELL THEM WHEN THEY HAVE SOMETHING IN THEIR TEETH.

@1CleverGirl1: Me: I'm super funny. I mean, how could 13K people be wrong?
Husband: There were WAY more people in the Nazi party.
Me:.................

@1CleverGirl1: 3 days ago I ate my daughters's m&m's while she was napping. When she woke I told her the cat ate 'em She's still mad at the cat. Dumb kid.

@1CleverGirl1: Don't force funny huh?

Well, I have funny tied to a chair in my basement and...unless we become fast friends...

...he's losing a knee cap.

@1CleverGirl1: If both kids are screaming....

....both kids are alive.

It's science