Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of 1MeLrO's best tweets

@1MeLrO : Wow, it's really blowie outside Me as a weather girl

@1MeLrO: I wrestled a Gator today

Okay bathed my cat

@1MeLrO: If you can't kill them with kindness

A shovel will do

@1MeLrO: If you can't call your kid at 8:30 in the morning from the next bedroom to bring you a drink

What's the point of them having a cell phone

@1MeLrO: They say honey is good for you when you're sick

I'm dipping my fried chicken strips in it and I do feel less stabby

@1MeLrO: I don't get why they put those stickers on fruit and vegetables

They taste like shit

@1MeLrO: It's cool to jump out of bed and realize you are already dressed to run to Walmart

@1MeLrO: Whoever just called my mom 3 minutes after she called me

You are a God!

@1MeLrO: Of course I touch myself when I think about you

It's called a face palm

@1MeLrO: Blows you, kisses

See proper punctuation is important