Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of 1MeLrO's best tweets

@1MeLrO : If you can't call your kid at 8:30 in the morning from the next bedroom to bring you a drink What's the point of them having a cell phone

@1MeLrO: They say honey is good for you when you're sick

I'm dipping my fried chicken strips in it and I do feel less stabby

@1MeLrO: I don't get why they put those stickers on fruit and vegetables

They taste like shit

@1MeLrO: It's cool to jump out of bed and realize you are already dressed to run to Walmart

@1MeLrO: Whoever just called my mom 3 minutes after she called me

You are a God!

@1MeLrO: Of course I touch myself when I think about you

It's called a face palm

@1MeLrO: Blows you, kisses

See proper punctuation is important

@1MeLrO: You think you got problems

I just mixed a box of regular spaghetti with a box of thin spaghetti

Supper is ruined I tell you

@1MeLrO: Any girl can give you pics

I can give you a headache