Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of 215potter's best tweets

@215potter : My neighbor's facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.

@215potter: Back in my day a "selfie," was something you did with the door locked and a bottle of lotion.

@215potter: Thank god my brother's getting his PhD, I was running out of ways to disappoint my parents.

@215potter: Bong hits bring all the cheetos to my jaw, and it's like, nom nom nom nom.

@215potter: If the human race has a "signature move," its gotta be lying to the dentist about flossing.

@215potter: Someone just asked me to fax them my email address. Careful driving folks, these people walk amongst us...

@215potter: These Valtrex commercials are confusing... Are herpes a pre-requisite for kayaking and rock climbing?

@215potter: To my future kids: I apologize for the lack of college funds...

Blame mom, she INSISTED on organic produce from Whole Foods.

@215potter: Guy threw a banana peel out the window into my lane 2day. Yrs of practice paid off and I arrived to work safely. Thank you Mario Kart.