@3sunzzz: [interview at Bass Pro Shops]
So, tell me a little about yourself.
Me: *dressed in camouflage* Wait, you can see me?!
EVERYONE REMAIN CALM.
Use the stairs.
DO NOT use the elevators.
We're on the 12th floor...
I guess I'm dying in a fire.
@3sunzzz: Me: Put on your seatbelt.
13: Do I have to?
Me: not if you want your face shattering the windshield
Me: PUT ON YOUR SEATBELT!
@3sunzzz: H: Well, the remote was definitely broken, so I went and bought a new one.
H: Oh, and it came with this 75" television.
@3sunzzz: Hang up weed instead of mistletoe, then every time you stand under it you can have a snack.
@3sunzzz: Me: Did you finish the banana bread?
Me: Great, because it was actually a healthy zucchini bread.
16: THIS HOUSE IS FULL OF LIES!
@3sunzzz: Me: I can't believe we have $900 for Christmas gifts this year!
Fridge: I don't feel well. I think I have a fever.
H: I'm at Lowes, how wide is the door frame?
M: I measured, it's 35 and then 3 little lines after a big long line.
@3sunzzz: A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it's fun to push things down the stairs.