3: *drops cracker, picks up cracker, starts to eat it*
Me: GIVE ME THAT! We don't eat off of the floor here, this isn't Target!
@3sunzzz: I forgot my cell phone at home and had to write my grocery list on paper. I shopped with it in my hand like some kind of a carrier pigeon.
@3sunzzz: H: Did you remember to pick up the seal so the tub will stop leaking?
M: *holding a baby seal* You should have been more specific.
@3sunzzz: If you see a road sign that says 'Survey Crew Ahead', they do not want you to stop and answer questions. I know that now.
@3sunzzz: 6yo: What is a solar eclipse?
Me: Have you ever been outside in the dark?
Me: same idea
@3sunzzz: M: If someone calls you the wrong name is it rude to correct them?
Interviewer: I meant questions about the job, Kim.
M: Well, I'm Ursula.
@3sunzzz: Guy: [strolling along] Well, at least I have my heal- *piano falls on his head*
Me: [leaning out my apartment window] Oh no! My piano!
@3sunzzz: I don't mean to brag, but I don't need to buy a new Tamagotchi. The one I got in 1997 is not only still alive, but it's healthier than I am.
@3sunzzz: Neighbor: Your dog barks a lot.
Me: Isn't your kid the one that plays her recorder outside every summer?
M: So, I can't help you.