@3sunzzz: I took a Viagra just to see what would happen, I couldn't sit down for four hours.
Narrator: Ursula should never be left unsupervised.
@3sunzzz: I experienced a potato famine once; it was the longest night of my life.
Narrator: Ursula ran out of vodka.
@3sunzzz: You smell wonderful. Can I ask what you're wearing?
Sure, it's the perfume sample on page 49 in April's Cosmo.
@3sunzzz: If a bear attacks me, I'm staying put. The only thing worse than getting attacked by a bear, is getting attacked by a bear while running.
*penguin strapped on my back*
Ma'am, is that a penguin on your back?
No, it's just a backpack.
Oh, WHAT'S IN IT?!
@3sunzzz: My therapist encouraged me to stop bending over backwards for people. But just between us, I really miss yoga.
@3sunzzz: Even if you're really tired, never try to hold your eyes open using toothpicks. DAMN YOU 1970'S CARTOONS AND ALL OF YOUR FALLACIES!
@3sunzzz: My doctor said I need to drink more water every day, so I have started putting ice cubes in my vodka.