@3sunzzz: [Social Media Addiction Club]
Hi, my name is Brenda, and I'm addicted to social media.
*no one looks up from their phone* Hi, Brenda.
@3sunzzz: M: Why are the crazies called insane instead of unsane?
Prosecutor: Number 3 is excused from jury duty.
M: *mumbles* works every time
@3sunzzz: No thank you, gym membership. The only thing worse than riding a bike is riding a bike that goes nowhere.
@3sunzzz: My husband and I are having a Fitbit competition, so every day when he leaves for work I attach mine to our dog. I'm averaging 25,438 steps a day.
@3sunzzz: I wish Jehovah Witnesses were Jojoba Witnesses and they only stopped by to watch you put on their complimentary hand cream.
@3sunzzz: My husband and I have been spending a lot of time together. Now my boyfriend is pissed. It's like I can't win.
@3sunzzz: I find it odd that when someone dies we refer to them as late, my late Aunt Polly. Aunt Polly isn't late, she's not coming.
@3sunzzz: Hell hath no fury like a toddler that sets down their popsicle and then comes back 20 minutes later to get it.