Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of 3sunzzz's best tweets

@3sunzzz : M: I just can't find the words. H: She's kidding, give her a minute.

@3sunzzz: 15: I'm starving! There's nothing to eat. What are you having for lunch?

Me: grapes

15: Nice! We have grapes?!

Me: *sips wine* nope

@3sunzzz: No Fitbit, I didn't walk 18,937 steps today, I had a Sign Language final.

@3sunzzz: My son keeps texting me for tax advice. He's known for 24 yrs that I have a THEATRE DEGREE. I only act like I file my taxes.

@3sunzzz: My therapist puts her toilet paper roll on upside down, yet somehow I'm the crazy one?

@3sunzzz: I'm feeling a little too good about myself today, I guess I'll call my mother.

@3sunzzz: I can't decide whether or not I should do laundry or just buy another hamper.

@3sunzzz: My husband kidnapped me for a romantic weekend away. Now I'm just lying here wondering when I'm getting out of the trunk.

@3sunzzz: I just opened a Valentine's Day card that was filled with heart confetti. I don't remember the last time I was this angry.

@3sunzzz: If you like to fall asleep in bed but wake up on the floor, owning satin sheets might be for you.