Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of 4handfuls's best tweets

@4handfuls : AC changed "laughing at your gif" to "laughing at your God" and now I've accidentally started a religious war in this group text...

@4handfuls: Him: Well, when life hands you lemons...

Narrator: Life only needed him to hold the lemons so it could punch him in the face.

@4handfuls: Some call it a fashion show. I call it my kids changing their shorts 8 times a day for no reason and leaving them all over the house...

@4handfuls: Spending the weekend installing toothpaste-colored carpet since my 3 yr old insists on brushing his teeth while walking around the house...

@4handfuls: My kids always seem confident in making decisions until they have to decide which leg to put in their pants first...

@4handfuls: Her: What are your passions?

Him: Meditating and gourmet food & drinks.

Narrator: Which was code for sleeping, Cheez-its​, and Capri Suns.