@5hael: [David Attenborough narrating my life]
Once again the young offspring attempts to leave the nest. Once again he has flown into a wall
@5hael: Thanks for saying 'on your mobile' in your bio, for a moment I thought you might be tweeting like me, from a calculator in the psych ward
@5hael: *smashes car through your living room*
Fancy meeting you here, have you been getting my text messages?
@5hael: All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream
@5hael: This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
@5hael: Do you think it's weird that the only reason we still have landlines is so cops in movies can wake each other up in the middle of night?