Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of AGStr8upNinja's best tweets

@AGStr8upNinja : Cop: Do you have any drugs in the car? Me: Nope, payday isn't until Thursday.

@AGStr8upNinja: Scientists say North America is going to sink into the ocean but we can change that.
With a healthy diet and a little bit of exercise.

@AGStr8upNinja: She told me she liked it doggy style so I gave her a treat & took her for a walk.

@AGStr8upNinja: I purposely park three feet away from the drive thru window so Mcdonalds employees can get in their daily stretches.

@AGStr8upNinja: It's not the amount of followers young GRASSHOPPER.

It's the quality of followers.

@AGStr8upNinja: Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that's not your Ferrari?

@AGStr8upNinja: How to be a Canadian:

1) Love hockey
2) Use good manners
3) Drink Tim Hortons
4) Live in a igloo
5) Hunt moose with stick

@AGStr8upNinja: Alcohol may not be able to give you a loving hug when you need it but the Liquor Mart employee's you're buying it off of sure can.

@AGStr8upNinja: Marijuana may cause paranoia but so does watching CNN.

@AGStr8upNinja: Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies.