@AbbyHasIssues: I missed two of my mom's calls, so I assume the helicopter that just flew over my house is part of the search crew she called.
@AbbyHasIssues: I just got excited about a new scent of dish soap.
No one warned me adulthood was going to be such a non-stop thrill ride.
@AbbyHasIssues: Friend: Did you already eat or do you want to get some food?
@AbbyHasIssues: Sorry, package of toilet paper. I'm only making one trip from the car with these grocery bags, so you're sleeping in the car tonight.
@AbbyHasIssues: I like to take down Christmas decorations in stages. Right now in the stage where I sit on the couch with a cup of tea in denial that I need to take down the Christmas decorations.
@AbbyHasIssues: Age 21: Goes out for drinks after 9 PM and gets home at 2 AM.
Age 37: Has one tiny little sip of water after 8 PM and has to get up and pee three times before 2 AM.
@AbbyHasIssues: It turns out the answer to my problems wasn't at the bottom of this pint of ice cream, but the important thing is that I tried.
@AbbyHasIssues: Before coffee: Annoyed by everything.
After coffee: Annoyed by everything but with the energy to complain about it.
@AbbyHasIssues: The cashier told me to have a good holiday like my purchase of oven cleaner, cat treats, and hummus suggests anything else.