Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of AdamOfEarth's best tweets

@AdamOfEarth : Optimus Prime: "I transform from a robot into a truck. You?" Amazon Prime: "I transform money into regrettable internet purchases at 2 AM."

@AdamOfEarth: 10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary:
1) There are 1's and 0's
10) There are no 2's

@AdamOfEarth: Girl, are you E=mc ²? Because I do not have the energy to figure out what is the matter with you.

@AdamOfEarth: [Heart: Tell her her eyes are windows into eternity, filled with fire...
Brain: Beacons, stars in a vast darkness]
Mouth: HEY GREAT EYEBALLS

@AdamOfEarth: January 29, 1802, 2 AM: I hope this letter finds you well. Are you up?
March 2: I am, good sir
April 6: Would you kindly come over?
May 9: K

@AdamOfEarth: Roses are flowers, violets are flowers, I'd love you more if you had super powers.

@AdamOfEarth: "That's one small step for man. That's one open fridge for man. That's one good sandwich for-"
"Neil! Stop."
"I WALKED ON THE MOON, JANET"

@AdamOfEarth: Science is tricky. Keeps you on your toes.
Mineralogy? Study of minerals.
Oceanology? Study of oceans.
Meteorology? NOT ABOUT METEORS.

@AdamOfEarth: Welcome to Psychic Abilities 101.

Today's class was just rescheduled for tomorrow. If you're here now, you failed.

@AdamOfEarth: Iron Man, Iron Man, does everything an Iron can
Gets real hot on a mat, makes your clothes get really flat
Look out! Here comes the Iron Man