Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of AnOrangeSNES's best tweets

@AnOrangeSNES : FRIEND WHO JUST GOT BIT BY A VERY VENOMOUS SPIDER: Hurry, the antidote! ME: This reminds me of a time FRIEND: No, not an anecdote! *Dies*

@AnOrangeSNES: The last apple tree in the world shrivels up and dies. In the distance a horde of doctors are ready.

@AnOrangeSNES: If you are dissolving someone in a vat it's no longer an acid problem, it's an acid solution.

@AnOrangeSNES: Her: I love you so much
Me: Hey, *puts my hand on her shoulder* we all make mistakes sometimes.

@AnOrangeSNES: "Murder most fowl!" I scream as the cops pull me away from the many duck corpses. They explain I misunderstood Hamlet while arresting me.

@AnOrangeSNES: Corn mazes should just be called maizes from now on

@AnOrangeSNES: [first date]
{don't let him know you're a psychic}
{don't let her know you're a psychic}
{we're both psychic?}
{cool let's bang}

@AnOrangeSNES: Lady Doritos was my favorite character in Macbeth

@AnOrangeSNES: One day I'm going to cure blindness. You'll see! You'll all see!

@AnOrangeSNES: HER: My daughter is named Nevaeh which is heaven spelled backwards.
ME: *Phone rings* Hold on my son Elohssa is calling