Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Andee_Stewart's best tweets

@Andee_Stewart : *wants space* *eats Milky Way*

@Andee_Stewart: Based on the amount of tools I've dated, you'd think I got a deal at The Home Depot

@Andee_Stewart: *popular kid is struggling in class

*gets a tutor to help


@Andee_Stewart: I always close the door to the bathroom even if I'm home alone. What if someone broke in and saw me peeing? That would be so embarrassing

@Andee_Stewart: The problem w marriage is communication. When I said I hoped he'd go down in a plane I meant more crash & burn, less on the flight attendant

@Andee_Stewart: My teenaged daughter just asked me how to spell U2.

Fingers crossed for that athletic scholarship.