@AndrewChamings: I told my mum at dinner that my daughter was talking in a made up language and my mum said all languages are made up and I dropped a potato
@AndrewChamings: Dinosaurs prolly have ghosts too, what if there's a diplodocus just standing where your house is right now, bored as shit
@AndrewChamings: [shark tank]
me: ridiculously wide sunglasses
shark 1: i'm out
shark 2: i'm out
hammerhead shark: i'm listening
@AndrewChamings: interviewer: do you feel like you have grown as a person?
me: ok well I was literally like a foot tall when I was born
@AndrewChamings: genie: are you sure?
me: just do it
*my dog winks and gives me a fist bump for the third time*