Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!

Page of AngelaEhh's best tweets

@AngelaEhh : Pretty sure I just kept a closer eye on the pizza tracker than I did my infants.

@AngelaEhh: Shoutout to the kitchen knob that grabbed the strings on my pants and undid them.

@AngelaEhh: Tomorrow I'm definitely going to start running, no matter how many days it takes!

@AngelaEhh: My tall sister took the vodka out of the cupboards above the fridge.

I always thought those doors were just there for decoration.

@AngelaEhh: I'm pretty good at getting divorced men I date to give their ex another chance.

@AngelaEhh: Fitness friend: Do you know what you're putting in your body?

*flashes back to ex

*shudders

@AngelaEhh: My dentist said I have a very wet mouth.

*Updates dating profile.

@AngelaEhh: People say to enjoy the messes your kids leave, because you'll miss them when they're grown and gone.

I like to call those people liars.

@AngelaEhh: When people say 'oh, you're still single?'

I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married?'

I'm popular.

@AngelaEhh: They should really have disposable razors in the women's bathrooms at bars.