Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@AngelaEhh : Pretty sure I just kept a closer eye on the pizza tracker than I did my infants.
@AngelaEhh: Shoutout to the kitchen knob that grabbed the strings on my pants and undid them.
@AngelaEhh: Tomorrow I'm definitely going to start running, no matter how many days it takes!
@AngelaEhh: My tall sister took the vodka out of the cupboards above the fridge.
I always thought those doors were just there for decoration.
@AngelaEhh: I'm pretty good at getting divorced men I date to give their ex another chance.
@AngelaEhh: Fitness friend: Do you know what you're putting in your body?
*flashes back to ex
@AngelaEhh: My dentist said I have a very wet mouth.
*Updates dating profile.
@AngelaEhh: People say to enjoy the messes your kids leave, because you'll miss them when they're grown and gone.
I like to call those people liars.
@AngelaEhh: When people say 'oh, you're still single?'
I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married?'
@AngelaEhh: They should really have disposable razors in the women's bathrooms at bars.