Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of AntozWolf's best tweets

@AntozWolf : I got really excited when she talked about a motorboat date, but as it turns out, she just wanted to take a ride on the lake. *sigh*

@AntozWolf: I don't get it. Rock beats scissors but no one says shit about running with them.

@AntozWolf: Police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!!!!
Me: Not with that attitude.

@AntozWolf: "I'm having a public meltdown!!" - A Snowman, maybe.

@AntozWolf: I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig.... Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep.

@AntozWolf: I'm sure a spider is never scrutinized for spending too much time on the web.

@AntozWolf: There's a reason the iPhone autocorrects "Yolo" to "tool."

@AntozWolf: Its wrong that priests have to live a life of forced celibacy . They should get married and let celibacy come upon them the usual way.

@AntozWolf: For some reason I'm an extremely secretive
person. Don't ask me why

@AntozWolf: I ask myself, "How did I get here?," I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.