@Birdhumms: I decided not to put my clocks back so from hence forth I shall be on time for everything.
@Birdhumms: One of our doctors has such good handwriting, I'm beginning to wonder if he's really qualified.
@Birdhumms: I have a black cat called Blackie and a fish called Fishface, so I get it guy who named the Walkie talkie.
@Birdhumms: Me: I'm making home made soup.
H: Nice, what's in it?
Me: *Reads ingredients from packet.
@Birdhumms: I believe you cannot save people, you can only just love them. Which is probably why my job as a lifeguard didn't last long.
@Birdhumms: A joke is only funny if both of you are laughing.
*and other lies we tell our kids