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@Bluestmoon_ : 78% of parenting is spent anxiously praying they don't notice the minuscule lego piece you just vacuumed up.
@Bluestmoon_: Luckily, children are much easier to keep alive than house plants.
@Bluestmoon_: Sorry I asked "why?" when you told me your baby's name.
@Bluestmoon_: When someone shows you they don't want to be a part of your life, let them go.
I'm not saying you can't make a voodoo doll of them, though.
@Bluestmoon_: I don't mean to brag, but I'm in my 30's and my bank account makes me look 21.
@Bluestmoon_: *Deletes 34 unheard voicemail messages from phone.
*Adds "extremely organized" to resume.
@Bluestmoon_: My neighbors wifi isn't working. Do you think they are aware and are trying to fix it, or should I go let them know?
@Bluestmoon_: How to make microwave popcorn:
2 minutes 27 seconds-half bag popped.
2 minutes 29 seconds-MICROWAVE ON FIRE.
@Bluestmoon_: NEVER date someone that works for your cell phone provider.