@BoogTweets: Me: Thank you for shopping at Walmart
Her: *rolling over in bed* next time I pick what we role play
@BoogTweets: Doritos CEO: we are getting a lot of backlash over this crunchless chip for women. We need ideas
Thrice divorced Bob: When they finish the bag it can be pulled over their heads in shame
CEO: I like it
@BoogTweets: Me: *violently swinging a stick* these piñatas are getting harder to hit
Zip line park owner: Hello 911? He’s back again
@BoogTweets: [bank holdup]
Bank teller: interesting choice in masks
Me: The box said it moisturizes and cleans the pores
@BoogTweets: A woman in front of me is taking forever to decide on her coffee order. Might unleash the raw fury of my passive aggressive deep sigh but there are children watching
@BoogTweets: Me: *Trying to experiment in bed*
Her: *looking up from her book* What’s with the lab coat?
@BoogTweets: Me: *Holding a fist full of lit sparklers* How much for the aggressive incense?
@BoogTweets: Me: *looks back at two sets of foot prints in the sand* Why didn’t you carry me back there?
Jesus: You were stress eating during those times and got kind of umm… *holding arms out* you know… *puffs out cheeks*