Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of BoogTweets's best tweets

@BoogTweets : Me: how much for the horse kabobs

Ride operator: it’s a carousel

@BoogTweets: After a series of bad choices I am inside two wolves

@BoogTweets: I found something called bath bombs in the cabinet and honestly I had no idea we were even at war with the tub

@BoogTweets: All the Kings men: we need some kind of adhesive

All the kings horses: why is everyone looking at us

@BoogTweets: *adds 50lb of bird seed to cart*

Acme online: people who buy this also buy

- bird-feeder
- giant mouse trap
- jet-propelled pogo stick
- painting fake tunnels for dummies
-first aid kit
- anvil

@BoogTweets: Me: *steps up to the plate, spits, adjusts cup, taps helmet*

Waiter: is there a problem

@BoogTweets: [movie trailer]

IN A WORLD OF ANIMAL NOISES

*distant oinks and moo’s*

ONE OLD MAN KNEW THEM ALL

*dramatic music*

BUT BEFORE HE WAS A MAN

*slow piano music*

BEFORE HE HAD A FARM

*flying shot of rolling hills*

HE WAS...

*extreme close up*

YOUNG MACDONALD

[coming soon]

@BoogTweets: If the sun is so hot how come it’s single

@BoogTweets: Before the “accident” they were Duran Duran Duran

@BoogTweets: My favorite part about the teenage mutant ninja turtles is that they felt the need to wear masks so people would not recognize them at their regular jobs