Funny Tweeter

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Page of BoogTweets's best tweets

@BoogTweets : Before the “accident” they were Duran Duran Duran

@BoogTweets: My favorite part about the teenage mutant ninja turtles is that they felt the need to wear masks so people would not recognize them at their regular jobs

@BoogTweets: [fire alarm]

Hotel California manager: oh no

@BoogTweets: Me: *being patted down* I can explain

Cop: *holding several ziplock bags filled with cheeto dust I had down my pants* this isn’t illegal but I’m listening

@BoogTweets: Me: I have bad news about, Bob

Friend: Bob from work that always fakes his own death?

Me: *Drops shovel* Oh no

@BoogTweets: Me: you seem disappointed

Dracula: *holding a bloody Mary* it’s fine, I’m fine

@BoogTweets: Newborn babies implies there are oldborn babies and honestly that’s terrifying

@BoogTweets: (my first day as a transformer)

optimus prime: Transformers, roll out!

Me:*transforms into hotdog cart* CAN I GET A PUSH HERE

@BoogTweets: How many priest do you have to fight to get to the pope

@BoogTweets: Anyone can be a sword swallower at least one time