Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Book_Krazy's best tweets

@Book_Krazy : Hub: When was your first kiss Me: July 4th 1978 I kissed Brent under the fireworks Hub: Didn't you have a frog named Brent Me: I hate you

@Book_Krazy: Me: HEY LADY YOU STOLE MY PARKING SPOT!

Her: so

Me: *noticing she opened a Gatorade on the first try* HAHA JUST KIDDING ITS TOTALLY YOURS.

@Book_Krazy: [Boss hands me 12 pages of complaints about my smart-ass remarks]

Me: so I guess the whole "we're going paperless" rules dont apply to you?

@Book_Krazy: [spelling bee]

Your word is 'monosyllabic'

"Can you describe it in a sentence?"

Yes

@Book_Krazy: Me: I love these lazy Sundays.

Boss: It's Tuesday. Get off my couch and out of my office. And for Christ's sake, put some clothes on!

@Book_Krazy: *Blows dandelion in the wind*
*stares at stem*

[whispers] "Now you're just somebody that I used to blow"

@Book_Krazy: Son: I have to bring a giraffe to school tomorrow

Hub: *types in zoo coordinates & grabs keys*

Me: He means a graph

Hub: I GOT THIS HONEY

@Book_Krazy: *Arrives at airport checkin*

Me: I've never been to the rainforest. I'm really excited!

-Ticket please

Me: [Hands her Amazon Gift Card]

@Book_Krazy: Me: How did Mrs. Incredible know to name her son Dash if she didnt know what his superpower was yet?

Cashier: so was that paper or plastic?

@Book_Krazy: HIM: you promise you're not an octopus?
ME: of course not silly
HIM: good. come in & meet my family
ME: *hugs all 4 of them at once*