@Book_Krazy: HIM: you promise you're not an octopus?
ME: of course not silly
HIM: good. come in & meet my family
ME: *hugs all 4 of them at once*
Your resume just says "I'm a mom". Why in the world would I hire you?
Me: BECAUSE I SAID SO THAT'S WHY!
@Book_Krazy: Me: What were you and daddy just laughing about?
Me: What about me?
9: You won't think its as funny as we do
@Book_Krazy: [Spelling Bee]
Her: Your word is consent.
Him: Can you describe the word?
@Book_Krazy: Satan: What's that?
God: Babies. I made them the sweetest creatures in the universe.
Satan: I see. *invents screaming*
God: lol good one!
@Book_Krazy: Nick's coming over
Nick from work, or Nick who thinks he's a scorpion?
*Nick bursts through the door* HERE I AM, ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE
@Book_Krazy: Ok, Don't let them know you're an egg
"Mr Yolk, you are 20 minutes late for this interview"
[drags on cig] I was getting laid by a chick
@Book_Krazy: Judge: So, you don't know how the victims blood got in your car?
Clown: In my defense Your Honor, there were 46 other passengers in the car
@Book_Krazy: Mom, I'm glad April Fools is on a wkend. Kids at school are jerks
Me:*Hiding a plate of waffles drenched in olive oil* yeah people are mean