Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of BruceForce's best tweets

@BruceForce : Sorry I yelled "...just killed a man" when your baby called "Mama..."

@BruceForce: *spreads rose petals on the bed*

[Death metal voice] "INTERCOURSE!"

@BruceForce: Haha, murder? No officer, I just wanted to see what would happen if I planted a human

@BruceForce: Hate it when a mum automatically assumes their baby is hungry when they cry. Maybe they're crying for a stable economy. YOU DON'T KNOW!

@BruceForce: How to pick up a girl in a club:

1. Stare at her
2. Walk up to her
3. Shout stuff

@BruceForce: Where on LinkedIn do I add my current gang memberships

@BruceForce: Some dude told me he's had 100 times more girls than me which made me laugh so much because 100 x 0 is still 0.

@BruceForce: The traffic must be horrendous in a red light district

@BruceForce: Me: Sometimes I wish I wasn't shy and introverted

Alcohol: I'VE GOT GREAT NEWS!

@BruceForce: Gravity is just the earth being really clingy