Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of BubblesnBooze's best tweets

@BubblesnBooze : Hubs: You're home all day, why isn't the house clean? Me: You're at work all day, why aren't we rich? Hubs: Touché

@BubblesnBooze: Him: How would you describe yourself?

Me: Face of an angel, body of a marshmallow and the mouth of a sailor.

@BubblesnBooze: Am I perfect? No.
Am I trying to be a better person? Definitely not.

@BubblesnBooze: I just found a human tooth and a pair of underwear in my purse. I might be a serial killer or I might be a mom, you'll never know.

@BubblesnBooze: My phone just changed CrossFit to Croissant, this phone really knows me better than any human.

@BubblesnBooze: It's funny how your tweets are funnier now that I know you're hot.

-everyone on Twitter

@BubblesnBooze: Anyone who says time flies, has obviously never been on a treadmill.