Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of C00LpenNAME's best tweets

@C00LpenNAME : Why are we wasting time on all these "beware of dog" signs? I’ve never met a cat that wasn't obviously plotting to kill somebody...

@C00LpenNAME: *Ghost Jail

Ghost 1: What're you in for?
Ghost 2: Posession
Ghost 1: Nice

@C00LpenNAME: They say your home is your castle.

But the second you build a dungeon in the basement someone inevitably calls the cops

@C00LpenNAME: Just found out my old gym is a 5 Guys now

Renewed my membership this morning

@C00LpenNAME: I totally just realized that Dora the Explorer and Vlad the Impaler have the same middle name