Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of CanadianCyn's best tweets

@CanadianCyn : Mom: You need to get a hobby. Me: Like photography? Mom: I don't think stalking the garbageman is a hobby.

@CanadianCyn: Today is my 18th wedding anniversary.

If my husband doesn't give me a divorce as a gift I'm telling his girlfriend.

@CanadianCyn: The garbage man is late.

I think he's been cheating on me with some other piece of trash.

@CanadianCyn: I wonder if mirrors every get tired of having their picture taken.

@CanadianCyn: Being on twitter has made my spelling, grammar and vocabulary so much gooder.

@CanadianCyn: This pill bottle says 'Take with plenty of fluids' and 'Don't take with alcohol'.

That doesn't even make sense.

@CanadianCyn: I've found a diner. Or maybe it's a house. Either way this little old lady is cooking me breakfast.

@CanadianCyn: If I went back in time I'd tell myself...

"Don't wait until 29 to become a stripper. You get to be naked, drunk and get paid for it!"

@CanadianCyn: If I'm old enough to be your mother we can't date. Just kidding. Go ask for your allowance and buy me a drink.