@CanadianCyn: Today is my 18th wedding anniversary.
If my husband doesn't give me a divorce as a gift I'm telling his girlfriend.
@CanadianCyn: The garbage man is late.
I think he's been cheating on me with some other piece of trash.
@CanadianCyn: Being on twitter has made my spelling, grammar and vocabulary so much gooder.
@CanadianCyn: This pill bottle says 'Take with plenty of fluids' and 'Don't take with alcohol'.
That doesn't even make sense.
@CanadianCyn: I've found a diner. Or maybe it's a house. Either way this little old lady is cooking me breakfast.
@CanadianCyn: If I went back in time I'd tell myself...
"Don't wait until 29 to become a stripper. You get to be naked, drunk and get paid for it!"
@CanadianCyn: If I'm old enough to be your mother we can't date. Just kidding. Go ask for your allowance and buy me a drink.