Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Canadian_Cutie_'s best tweets

@Canadian_Cutie_ : Him: do you swallow Me: Yes *walks away mumbling. How else do you think I eat. Idiot

@Canadian_Cutie_: If I have learned anything in life it's don't throw away your fat clothes

@Canadian_Cutie_: I had to use a rotary phone to try to get concert tickets so don't you tell me Ticket Master online is taking too long

@Canadian_Cutie_: Dad: ok we need to find the number to that store, get the phone book

Me: Get the what now?

@Canadian_Cutie_: First date

*dont let him know you been stalking him

Him- so my brother just got deployed

Me: Josh or Brian?

@Canadian_Cutie_: My voicemail greeting:

Its 2016, please hang up and text me before the beep so I don't get a notification.