@CantWaitToNap: I don’t know why they are staring. Ignore them.
*Holds drink up to your voodoo doll’s mouth*
@CantWaitToNap: Take me to get something to eat. I’m too drunk to drive.
Officer: “I need you to step out of the car, ma’am.”
@CantWaitToNap: *Bites lower lip*
"So this is an abduction then?"
Cop: "Stop that. You're under arrest."
@CantWaitToNap: Oh my God. You try to run him over one time, and he never lets you forget it.
@CantWaitToNap: My kids want a second dog for me to feed, walk and clean up after for Christmas.
@CantWaitToNap: Husband confiscated my credit card last week. The news just said that Amazon stock is down.
THIS IS ALL HIS FAULT.
@CantWaitToNap: *Googles “exercise apps for lazy people”*
*Downloads five apps*
That should do it for today.