@Carbosly: Apparently, saying "make it a double" followed by an awkward wink doesn't work at the pharmacy.
@Carbosly: Being a hacker in the '80's was way easier.
*shakes vending machine until chocolate bars falls.
@Carbosly: "I'm scared of thunder and vacuums but this beehive full of killer bees looks delicious."
@Carbosly: A walk of shame is always sad. Don't make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
@Carbosly: That moment when you hear a weird noise in the house and you're so lazy you think "Meh, whatever. I had a good run."
@Carbosly: Gluten-free, low salt, no sugar all-natural whole grain bread?
The only thing "natural" about this product is the urge to get away from it.
@Carbosly: Dear movies,
We'll never be upset to the point of throwing expensive jewelry at the bottom of the ocean. Never.
@Carbosly: When people ask me how old I am, I always say 45.
They all think I look AMAZING for my age.