Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ChaseMit's best tweets

@ChaseMit : Let's be honest: The documentary they were making before the Blair Witch killed them would have sucked

@ChaseMit: "Fine, I'm sorry, you win, just, please stop crying." - my rap battle opponent

@ChaseMit: My girlfriend's car got stolen today, so if you see a man driving a dark green Honda Civic, PLEASE tell him I left some Skittles in there.

@ChaseMit: Hey, people who act like they're about to fight but are really friends, you are FREAKING the rest of us out.

@ChaseMit: I think police forgot which organized group of white dudes with shaved heads they are.

@ChaseMit: You'll get this gun when you pry it out of my cold dead ow hey give that back

@ChaseMit: The iPad Air is named after what's left in your bank account when you buy one.

@ChaseMit: "Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs" could also describe every menu item at Olive Garden.

@ChaseMit: America's national mascot should just be a drunk white girl typing on a shattered iPhone.

@ChaseMit: "Welcome... To Jurassic Park." "But some of these dinosaurs are from the Cretaceous Period--" "WE ALREADY MADE THE SIGNS"