Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Cheeseboy22's best tweets

@Cheeseboy22 : I've been refilling the same Evian water bottle for 6 months. So many people think I'm rich.

@Cheeseboy22: My wife wants me to go to Zumba with her. I am hopeful that this is a place to get burritos.

@Cheeseboy22: When I was a kid, there were actually six oceans: The Pacific, Atlantic, Indian, Antarctic, Arctic and Billy.

@Cheeseboy22: It's always a good idea to make friends with babies. That's free cake once a year for a lifetime.

@Cheeseboy22: We can't afford to take our kids to a corn maze this year so we're just going to take them to an IKEA instead.

@Cheeseboy22: I like to sneak a donut into the salad bar so everyone will ask, "WAIT, THERE'S DONUTS?" and I say, "Sorry, last one!" and then eat it.

@Cheeseboy22: Whenever I am with my family and someone says, "Wow, you have a beautiful family!" I reply, "Well, we left the ugly ones at home."

@Cheeseboy22: Wonder Woman 2: Wonder Woman goes to Costco. She pulls apart 2 shopping carts that are stuck together. Costco shoppers amazed. Roll credits.

@Cheeseboy22: If you can talk really fast you have some options in life: Become an auctioneer or list the side effects of drugs at the end of commercials.

@Cheeseboy22: My sunscreen says its SPF 100. I opened the tube and squeezed out a blanket.