Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Cheeseboy22's best tweets

@Cheeseboy22 : Sometimes, when I am matching socks, I think, "What if these two socks don't even like each other?"

@Cheeseboy22: Just gave my next door neighbor a giant bag of candy to dump in my sons trick or treat bucket on Halloween so I can go home after one house.

@Cheeseboy22: My 12 year old son is going to his first play with us tonight. I convinced him that everyone wears fanny packs to plays. We had to go buy him one at Walmart, but it will be worth it.

@Cheeseboy22: If I had a pet unicorn, I'd probably just use it to carry my donuts around.

@Cheeseboy22: I went to a wildlife rehabilitation center today and none of the animals were still doing drugs. A massive success!

@Cheeseboy22: I forget ONE TIME and my wife changes all my passwords and sets the security question to: "When is your anniversary?"

@Cheeseboy22: I wonder if Pink's parents are named Red and White.

@Cheeseboy22: I think the reason giraffes don't ride in hot air balloons is that their faces would probably get fried off in that flame thing.

@Cheeseboy22: If I am picking up lunch and bringing it back to work for you, please expect at least half of your fries to be gone.

@Cheeseboy22: If I've learned anything from movies, it's that if you're packing for an important mission, you should definitely pull your knife out of its sheath and then put it back in to make sure it's still there.