@ChickenFrecklez: Me texting friend: Hey! What's up?
Buddy: *sends picture of ceiling*
Me: I am so glad I didn't ask "how's it hanging"
@ChickenFrecklez: Rude coworker said something very dumb & mean to me.
She blamed it on pregnancy brain.
I asked her if she was having triplets.
@ChickenFrecklez: Hubby's head seems like it's almost twice the size of mine.
We are never having children.
@ChickenFrecklez: Hubby is trying to get it up...There we go...Ok now it won't go down-oh there it goes...Shit, now it's going back up!
Garage door is broken
@ChickenFrecklez: When ya leave Twitter it's called twittercide.
What about Instagram?
Instagramicide? IGicide? Instacide? Gramicide? Instadead? Instagone?
@ChickenFrecklez: Crazy sister put: "I had a child very young so I had to mature quickly" on her resume once. Put her email address as MONKEYTUSHIES87 too.