Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ChickenFrecklez's best tweets

@ChickenFrecklez : Are you turned on? Switch I might be!

@ChickenFrecklez: Me texting friend: Hey! What's up?
Buddy: *sends picture of ceiling*
Me: I am so glad I didn't ask "how's it hanging"

@ChickenFrecklez: Rude coworker said something very dumb & mean to me.
She blamed it on pregnancy brain.
I asked her if she was having triplets.

@ChickenFrecklez: Hubby's head seems like it's almost twice the size of mine.

We are never having children.

@ChickenFrecklez: Hubby is trying to get it up...There we go...Ok now it won't go down-oh there it goes...Shit, now it's going back up!

Garage door is broken

@ChickenFrecklez: When ya leave Twitter it's called twittercide.
What about Instagram?
Instagramicide? IGicide? Instacide? Gramicide? Instadead? Instagone?

@ChickenFrecklez: Crazy sister put: "I had a child very young so I had to mature quickly" on her resume once. Put her email address as MONKEYTUSHIES87 too.