Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ChrisThayerSays's best tweets

@ChrisThayerSays : I'll bet my mom's up in heaven right now, smiling, thinking, "Wow, it was really nice of them to let me out of hell for the day."

@ChrisThayerSays: I'm still drunk with power after a Jehovah's Witness asked, "'Can I ask you one question?" & I said, "I think you just did," + kept walking.

@ChrisThayerSays: I bought quick oats and two days later my roommate showed up with instant oats. I will not be humiliated; I must find an even sooner oat.

@ChrisThayerSays: what's the deal with "airplane food?" newsflash, jerry: it's called jet fuel.