Funny Tweeter

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Page of ClichedOut's best tweets

@ClichedOut : kid: 5 more minutes dad goat: no it's pasture bedtime

@ClichedOut: HER: i'm leaving u

ME: is it bc i never listen to u

HER: yes

ME: k see u tonight

@ClichedOut: waiter: would u like a baked potato, mashed potatoes, or fries with that

me: yes

@ClichedOut: the first rule of micromanager club is...here, i'll just show u

@ClichedOut: Her: why are u breaking up with me

Me: *changing PowerPoint slides* I'll take questions at the end Jen

@ClichedOut: gf: that guy hit on me, make him pay

me: [to guy] u need to buy our drinks

@ClichedOut: my gf left me cuz i'm insecure

never mind she's back she went pee

@ClichedOut: you (uncultured): Ok.

me (cultured): Othousand.

@ClichedOut: my boss said "why is your shirt untucked" and I said "bc my pants are tucked into my shirt" and now i'm the sales manager

@ClichedOut: What should we call our new store?

"Will we sell pottery?"

No.

"Is it in a barn?"

No.

"Let's go with Pottery Barn."

Hell, I love it Carl.