Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ClichedOut's best tweets

@ClichedOut : ME: i joined CrossFit PRIEST: again, kind of weird but not a sin

@ClichedOut: my mom: curfew's 9:00

me: please mom i'm in a gang now

my mom:

me: how about 9:15

@ClichedOut: nurse: how do u rate ur pain

me: it's a thumbs down

nurse:

me: would not recommend

@ClichedOut: ME: i trained my cat to talk

HER: let's see

ME: name an object pronoun

CAT: me-

ME: what do u I say when I'm hurt

CAT: -ow

HER: this sucks

ME: patience

CAT: we're just getting started, Linda

@ClichedOut: HER: i can't be with a guy who thinks he's Optimus Prime

ME: i can change, Becky

HER:

ME: into a semi truck

@ClichedOut: [blind date]

HER: i love classic rock

ME: (trying to impress) i've been to Stonehenge

@ClichedOut: [tsunami approaching]

guy: RUN

me: wait why is the T silent

@ClichedOut: feb 14: i love everything about u

feb 15: don't breathe like that

@ClichedOut: my gf: this guy is hitting on me, teach him a lesson

me: ok [to guy] tomatoes are technically fruits

@ClichedOut: her: u excited for the next Star Wars?

me: [sweating] did we win the last one