Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ClichedOut's best tweets

@ClichedOut : me: will i be arrested psychic: no me: empty the register

@ClichedOut: her: i'm breaking up with u

me: we can work this out Linda

her: it's Lydia

@ClichedOut: me: are u 2 girls from England

them: Wales u idiot

me: sorry are u 2 whales from England

@ClichedOut: 1. Ghosts are see-through
2. Windows are see-through
3. Ghosts are windows

@ClichedOut: ME: we have a problem, i'm out of beer

HER: it's ok i don't drink

ME: ok we have 2 problems

@ClichedOut: interviewer: why do u want this job

me: i love health insurance

@ClichedOut: Interviewer: why do u want to work here

me: revenge

@ClichedOut: School crossing signs are bullshit, i've literally never seen a kid walking 20 mph

@ClichedOut: her: i'm leaving u

me: is it bc i fish for compliments

her: yes

me: or bc i'm the worst person ever

@ClichedOut: Welcome to Backhanded Compliment Club, it's so nice to meet people who don't care how they look