@ColoChiver: Scared the mailman today by going to the door completely naked. Not sure what scared him more, my naked body or that I knew where he lived.
@ColoChiver: Think of a number between 0 and 20 Add 32 to it. Multiply by 2. Subtract 1. Now close your eyes. It's dark isn't it?
@ColoChiver: My boss told me to dress for the job I want, not the job I have. Now I'm sitting in a disciplinary meeting in a Batman costume.
@ColoChiver: When anyone ask me to babysit, I ask if their kid is a "mean drunk" or a "happy drunk." Gets me out of it every time.