Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of CooIStepDad's best tweets

@CooIStepDad : "Son it's time we had the talk" "Cmon dad I know about se.." "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams" "What?" "It was an inside job"

@CooIStepDad: [running from cop]

*cop catches me*

"Get on the ground or I'll taze ya"

*pulls jellyfish from pocket*

"Look they were all out of tazers"

@CooIStepDad: [zoo]

"This is the bear kids"

Wow I want his arms

"What? You cant ha.."

*kid shows tour guide 2nd amendment*

"Bring him the arms smh"

@CooIStepDad: [Riot]

"WHAT DO WE WANT"

*far in the back*

PIZZA ROLLS

"No Jim we want freedom"
"WHAT DO WE WANT"

PIZZA ROLLS

"JIM"

But I'm hungry :(

@CooIStepDad: [on a date]

"I usually don't do this but.."

*runs out on date so she has to pay*