Funny Tweeter

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Page of CorkyCrash's best tweets

@CorkyCrash : I've become obsessed with the idea that Jesus was a terrible guitarist but no one told him to stop because they were afraid of his dad.

@CorkyCrash: I think it's a bad sign that when 9 tries to play charades, everyone's first guess is "constipation."

@CorkyCrash: 11's thoughts on tonight's dinner: "Well, it didn't make me gag, so I ate it."

The rewards of motherhood are truly breathtaking.

@CorkyCrash: I'm happiest when people tell me "Don't be a hero" because there's absolutely no way I'm going to disappoint them.