@Cpin42: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and a dog that plays ping pong
@Cpin42: In the event of a bear attack, the best thing to do is play dead. You’ll still die. But at least you get to play with a bear.
@Cpin42: I love when people apologize for ‘not tweeting much lately’ as if veiled mourners were lighting candles for their immediate return
@Cpin42: When I was a kid, I wanted to be Stephen Hawking. Now that he's dead, that feeling is even stronger
@Cpin42: In relationships, it’s important to pay attention to the little things. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled.