@Cpin42: In relationships, it’s important to pay attention to the little things. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled.
@Cpin42: Sick of people calling me "The Jigsaw Killer." Sure, I kill people. I also like jigsaw puzzles. But those two things don’t define me
@Cpin42: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and a dog that does karate
@Cpin42: [sees that my girlfriend from 3rd grade is getting married] Wow- you didn't waste any time, did you Becky
@Cpin42: Schrödinger's wife: Have you seen the cat?
Schrödinger: I have good news and bad news
@Cpin42: I hate when you go to a funeral and another guy is wearing the same hot dog costume