@Cpin42: I love how they gave Scooby-Doo a speech impediment, as if people would be like "That makes sense, because dogs have difficulty speaking.."
@Cpin42: Therapist: What brings you to couples counseling?
Husband: [rolls eyes] My wife says I "exclude her.”
Therapist: Where is your wife by the way?
@Cpin42: me: we named you after our favorite films
paul blart: i hate you
wife: you should be proud of your names
paul blart 2: you're monsters
@Cpin42: Call me old-fashioned, but I believe that when the crops fail a human sacrifice is required
@Cpin42: My brother was the best at hide-and-go-seek. I miss you, Mikey. Wherever you are.
@Cpin42: I hate when you're having sex and you accidentally yell out the wrong Ninja turtle
@Cpin42: "How was your trip, boy?" I ask my dog, petting his glowing fur. "There's been a development," he says gravely, removing his space helmet