@Cpin42: [whispering to my wife with tears in my eyes as we watch our daughter’s piano recital] She’s terrible
@Cpin42: Please stop inviting me to exotic islands and hunting me for sport. It’s mean and it hurts my feelings
@Cpin42: Age 10: I want to be a baseball player
Age 20: I want to be a writer
Age 30: I want to be happy
Age 40: I want my toilet to flush
@Cpin42: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and a dog that plays ping pong
@Cpin42: In the event of a bear attack, the best thing to do is play dead. You’ll still die. But at least you get to play with a bear.