@cravin4: First rule of Crocs club is no women allowed.
Women: You didn't need that rule.
@cravin4: After 21 years of marriage I thought it would be funny on National Joke Day to tell my wife I wanted to have more kids. She said "ME TOO!"
Now what do I do?
@cravin4: It's fine that my wife plans beach vacations every year around Shark Week but only referring to me as "chum" while we're there is a bit much.
@cravin4: I made my son a grilled cheese with three pieces of cheese and he said that's too much cheese.
Now my wife is mad at ME for ordering a DNA test.
@cravin4: I think I overdosed on comfort food last night....
That makes 7,427 days in a row.
@cravin4: Two things I learned this weekend are:
1. I'm not too old to get in a hammock.
2. I'm too old to get out of a hammock.