Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Cryptoterra's best tweets

@Cryptoterra : Does anyone know how to save your game on twitter I've been playing for 2 years straight my mom is pissed

@Cryptoterra: NOBODY MOVE THIS IS A ROBBERY! *other robber looks over at me* dude no you can move. We talked about this. Get the money

@Cryptoterra: Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two Adams bonding

@Cryptoterra: nicole kidman please name your next child Teendude

@Cryptoterra: all the sexy dinosaurs went extinct during the flirtatious period

@Cryptoterra: learn just enough tap dancing just to tap dance out of the room when you win an argument

@Cryptoterra: I like my women like I like my wemoweh a wemoweh a wemoweh a wemoweh IN THE JUNGLE THE MIGHTY JUNGLE THE LION SLEEPS TONIIIIIIIIGHT

@Cryptoterra: The jerk store called. *removes hat* I'm afraid there's been an accident.

@Cryptoterra: after my son won his soccer game, his teammate invited us over to celebrate. it was father, son, and the goalie host

@Cryptoterra: it says here you got fired from Olive Garden because you kept saying
"pasta la vista, baby" to people. why would you put that on a resume