@DBMaxP: Look... don't end your presentation with "Are there any questions?" & then get all pissy when I ask if you can ride a unicycle.
@DBMaxP: Why are the people with the most annoying laughs the ones that find everything hysterical?
@DBMaxP: Nothing says "Proper Retirement Planning" like a garbage can full of losing lottery tickets
@DBMaxP: Who said losing weight was difficult?
"Hello Blood Center? How much longer before I can donate another pint?"
@DBMaxP: It's a good thing I'm off for a vacation soon. It took me 15 minutes of her talking about her Volvo before I realized she meant her car
@DBMaxP: Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule on a dropped chip
@DBMaxP: Dear lady arguing w/ the clerk over whether or not it is "good" champagne: YOU ARE IN A GAS STATION!