Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of DadBeard's best tweets

@DadBeard : If pizza places cold called people's homes and asked if they wanted to order a pizza, I guarantee you their business would triple.

@DadBeard: By the time my father was my age he had amassed, like, 30 coffee cans full of screws. I have none. What have I done with my life?